2020 Reflections from Founder Patti Brown
ANNUS MIRABILIS
Annus Mirabilis. Translation: a remarkable or notable year in history. I think we can all agree 2020 was indeed remarkable! And arduous! It exposed our vulnerability and disorientated us in ways that demanded many of us to delve deep into our reservoir of coping mechanisms.
For Wellness Within, our staff dug deep. We displayed grit, creativity, and determination. We grew exponentially in our innovative approaches. We flourished as a team in ways we never imagined. It was hard. It changed us. And it worked! We pivoted to new ways of service that none of us had foreseen.
On a personal level, let’s just say I am still unpacking the year. The pandemic and other events of 2020 is still lingering around. I am still catching my breath and jotting notes to myself. It’s important to express to you that I did not experience the suffering that so many in the world have had to endure. Of course, I experienced sadness, grief, anger, fatigue, and frustration, no one gets a free pass when humanity faces challenges or your own personal plans or dreams get rerouted.
Furthermore, I had an acute realization about how deeply I feel the groans, the aches and the pains of our planet, our country, my community, people that I care deeply about. Some days I felt as if I could literally taste the tears of the world. It’s part of my DNA. It’s hard to turn a blind eye or not feel the collective ache of humanity.
Similarly, it’s not lost on me how those of you dealing with cancer have been impacted by this past year. I know cancer alone has upended your life, add a pandemic and the volume of voices in our country shouting and I can only imagine how trying and disorienting it has all been.
In response to our Annus Mirabilis, I thought it may be helpful to share with you some of my “notes” on practices that are assisting me while navigating these uncertain, challenging times. I hope there is a nugget here for you to begin healing some of the fallout of 2020:
Begin the process of recognizing all the various emotions that may need to be acknowledged. Go slow, listen with compassion in your exploring these experiences, especially the ones radically different from one another such as gratefulness and grief. Joy and anger.
Trust and ground yourself in the unpacking of some of the messiness that has been created internally over this past year without fear of it draining you further and without minimizing or comparing, as in her/his loss is worse.
Continue to make space in bearing witness to the stirrings through writing, music, movement, cooking and creating art and allow for the tears to give voice to those emotions held in the body.
Recognize the multiplicity of losses you have experienced over the year including the loss of your support system as you came to rely upon in the past.
Begin thinking about what themes have emerged with more clarity about what matters most and what no longer deserves your attention.
Commit to an uptick in a self-care regimen as well as demonstrate care for others. Sometimes an extended show of compassion to someone else when you are navigating your own muck can help. Just pick one person to start.
Remember these are just suggestions. At any point you feel overwhelmed with the thought of the process of “unpacking” please call a trusted friend or perhaps a therapist. Or…..wait until you feel more ready. We need one another. Remember our bodies are the keepers of the unacknowledged. The science doesn’t lie, emotions can get trapped in our bodies causing muscle tension, rigidity, more fatigue, mood swings, unresolved grief, and our breathing can become shallower. Acknowledging your pain is an intimate journey. It’s vulnerable and therein lies your power and freedom. You’ve been through a lot, it’s time to take a seat. Be gentle with yourself. Take it slow. Breathe. The invitation..….become an activist for your body, mind, and spirit healing.
I am reminded of the words from Allan Watts, “to hold your breath is to lose your breath.” Step one, get back to the basics. Become intimate with the rhythm of your breath. Be your own best friend. Listen with compassion. Reach out when your heart aches. This past year has been relentless and challenging, be kind to yourself and one another. Let love prevail.
Can’t wait to see you all again,
Patti